Absence

Here i am again, feels like im falling back down the rabbits hole
Here i am again, feels like ive shattered my mind, body and soul

How do i shout it out so that everyone will hear what i have to say
Ive tried…. im still trying, im just so weary ive lost my way

Stuck on a mountain no way to get down
Ill stay here forever let fate itself unwound

Im ashamed about falling, dont look at me im not here…
The truth of it all the weakness, is too much for me to bare
I could never accept it a life so frail, Through these letters, the only way i can tell my tale..

Im waiting on a hero, a fairytale come true
A hand in the darkness telling me “ill carry you”
I want to reach out and take it, the strength to manage through it all…

But i dont need you to catch me because ill never stop falling
Heavens watch me as i continue my decent..

..my fall.

A Dream Unwritten

Life is like a dream so confusing, so consuming , a nightmare full of blissful moments

Why am i confused?
Lost in this dream
Lost in a nightmare of bliss and despair
Fear is my savior
The darkness withing my heart
Every time i wake
My heart my soul 
Is so easy to break
Please tread carefully….

Is this our charade?
Our waltz 
Our masquerade
Please let it last…

I gave you three wishes
But i need one of my own
Surrounded by love
Why do i feel so alone

I know this is silly 
I know im a fool
But i don’t understand why you think im so cool….

Perfections a virtue
All i have are sins
All that’s left of me
Is what i pretend to be

I promised to be myself
To show you the real me
But how can i be calm
When i don’t know what you’ll see
Dressed up for so long
As who im supposed to be

I need this for myself
So im going to take a chance
Ill wait here at our ball
And hope you come to dance