Nobodys perfect

I hate it all go burn in the fires
a cesspit of shadow of devils and liars

Friends… haha what friends?
its easy to say things when i need them not
but when im down and depressed you dont say alot
its all pretend you use me to make you feel better
but return the favour? no i got to write a letter

but here im just venting i dont even care
whether your gone or whether your here

What hurts from you is you dont even try
this isnt about you but i hate that you lie

not about yourself but about how much i mean
im drowning in sorrow and your hands left unseen

I can be strong for others why cant i be strong for myself
I thought it was real but thats all i get?… what a shame..
Its over and over that i play this cruel game

I drown in my words like i don’t know how to swim
Hijacked by emotion i have no time to think
I just let it pour out smothered by it i sink

a shrug of your shoulder and turn of your head
haha way to save me friend im already dead

If im a monster then what are you

You who have judged me in the most one sided way

You who have called me a monster

You have no idea that i think of it everyday

No confidence my future controlled…

You who masquerades as the knight in shining armor

You who keeps his “friends” close

You who would turn at the drop of a hat

Not caring about any damage you cost…

You who have decided that evil is about

And rallied your holy crusade

But really its Salem the witch hunters den

Persecution without trial amidst…

Absence

Here i am again, feels like im falling back down the rabbits hole
Here i am again, feels like ive shattered my mind, body and soul

How do i shout it out so that everyone will hear what i have to say
Ive tried…. im still trying, im just so weary ive lost my way

Stuck on a mountain no way to get down
Ill stay here forever let fate itself unwound

Im ashamed about falling, dont look at me im not here…
The truth of it all the weakness, is too much for me to bare
I could never accept it a life so frail, Through these letters, the only way i can tell my tale..

Im waiting on a hero, a fairytale come true
A hand in the darkness telling me “ill carry you”
I want to reach out and take it, the strength to manage through it all…

But i dont need you to catch me because ill never stop falling
Heavens watch me as i continue my decent..

..my fall.

My Happily Never After

Im scared…
Im scared of you of what you think
Of what you say, what you want
What you don’t…

I wont ever tell you first i wont even tell you second
Im a coward i know but that’s how Ive survived

You will never know and that’s okay
It will hound my mind but eventually one day
Ill forget, you’ll forget me
And that’s just how it will be

Your answer terrifies me
Its my greatest fear
I feel so paper thin like im ready to tear
I know the answer already i can see it in my heart
Im not stupid i knew it from the start
Why do i always want what i know i cant have?

Im not the most interesting
or have the perfect look
I might not be someones first choice
But im a great choice
That’s what i need to believe
That’s what i wish i could see
But that’s something i know i just cant be…

Im not fearless im not even brave
Ill take my secrets and pain to the grave
I wish i had the courage to try

Life is a puzzle i just cant solve
But in this moment around you my whole world will revolve
You’ll be the one ill wish i could speak too
Every time your in sight
But against all my might you’ll always be…
My golden apple and eternal plight

Introduction to My New Wonderland ++

I never took it seriously but now i think i will
You made an impact on me in the last few days…
I don’t know what it is but im determined to see it thru
Did i see a glimpse behind the mask? a waver that was true?
It makes no difference my mask wavered too.

Poetry’s not your language..
So ill learn what you speak
One day i reach the sky sit there and just watch the havoc you’ll wreak
This room has nothing but walls but i see the world through a thousand windows

The bread crumbs you can hide but the path you cannot
Ill find it one day and from there i wont stop
A rabbit maybe faster but the turtle wins the race
This may not be entirely true but ill bring carrots just in case

I don’t know about talent, but i have a wicked stubborn mode
Ill unravel the intricacies the knowledge of this code

Piece by piece the puzzle will appear, the grand design will show
And from that moment i will know
What im looking for…
What i want from this…
There’s no such thing as broken just something transformed
Something changed for the better? that we’ll see…
But lets dance you an i
Just you an me

Friends are fleeting
Rivals are eternal
Student and teacher timeless

Take this as you wish confine it to your mind
Your memories your dreams let this information unwind

This is not the end you know, its all just begun
Mark this date as the day that i strive to meet the sun

A Dream Unwritten

Life is like a dream so confusing, so consuming , a nightmare full of blissful moments

Why am i confused?
Lost in this dream
Lost in a nightmare of bliss and despair
Fear is my savior
The darkness withing my heart
Every time i wake
My heart my soul
Is so easy to break
Please tread carefully….

Is this our charade?
Our waltz
Our masquerade
Please let it last…

I gave you three wishes
But i need one of my own
Surrounded by love
Why do i feel so alone

I know this is silly
I know im a fool
But i don’t understand why you think im so cool….

Perfections a virtue
All i have are sins
All that’s left of me
Is what i pretend to be

I promised to be myself
To show you the real me
But how can i be calm
When i don’t know what you’ll see
Dressed up for so long
As who im supposed to be

I need this for myself
So im going to take a chance
Ill wait here at our ball
And hope you come to dance

The Child in us All

Sometimes its like were in a maze, hallways upon hallways of options and choice

Walking these paths alongside others connected without a distinctive voice

Do i interest you yet? have a i described a full of twists make-up and props extravagant spcript and set ?

Why not sit for awhile and read, ill tell you a story of a starry-eyed boy

full of wide eyed wonder and porcelain joy

intrepid in thought but burdened with the sin of pride

A heart shackled in feeling, a belief as free as the wind blew outside

This was just the beginning he said as images of the potential came flooding into his mind

a hope this would not become just another memory, a cruel dream for him to at night simply, rewind.